I’m not sure where to start. When you get bad news but it’s not the death sentence you prepared yourself for, it’s hard to wrap your head around it. Yet again I surprised my doctor (I’ve got to stop doing this) the cysts on my ovaries are Serous Cystadenomas. With time these will end up becoming Serous Cystadenocarcinoma, the most common malignant tumor of the ovary. If they don’t remove my ovaries I will get ovarian cancer. He told me it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter when. My doctor prescribed me birth control pills for now to stop my ovaries from working so hopefully no new cysts can grow while he consults with 6 other doctors, 4 of which are the best Gynecological Oncologists in the world. He said to expect two of them to say to remove my ovaries now. But my doctor knows that my number one priority is getting pregnant. I know it may be stupid to some to chance getting ovarian cancer just to get pregnant but that is all I’ve ever wanted. Ever since I was real little, probably since birth, I’ve wanted to be a mom.
If they do strongly suggest removing my ovaries now, there is still one option, not a very successful option but it’s still an option. They can harvest my eggs, remove the ovaries, implant with IVF (I’m assuming because we didn’t get into details) and if I do get pregnant use hormones to keep me pregnant.
Thank the stars and moons we moved to Arizona. Who knows if my previous doctor who I thought was Good As Gold would ever have found the oddly placed cysts and scheduled surgery. My doctor told me the surgery literally saved my life. Ovarian cancer sneaks up on women, they normally don't find out they have it until it's too late. At least I know my future and I have a chance to prevent it if I time it right.
I feel like such a wimp crying out, "Why me?" so I don’t. Is this denial or is it because I don’t have time to break down and cry about it. I’ve used all my personal time nursing Jory, all my sick time for my surgery and I really don’t want to waste my vacation time sitting around crying. It’s only March God Damn it! I really need a vacation, Moab anyone?
My next appointment isn’t until April 21st so the waiting game continues.
3 comments:
Don't Cry For Me Argentina!
Juli you are the sweetest. I really appreciate your friendship and support. All the kind words are great but sometimes I need a few people who are OK with being scared with me. I'm glad I have you for that.
Well I can easily say I am scared with you. You are one of the most precious gifts I have ever been given so I know how important it is for you to have a baby of your own. I believe everything is going to turn out OK.
Well that's the last time I start to get updated on a blog from the oldest posts! (As in my making comments that are now irrelevant if I'd read the newest post first).
This news makes me want to weep to read.
This also makes me angry. Just more affirmation that there is no god or that he sux!
Sorry, I shouldn't be so negative but it pisses me off to have a friend have to endure such injustice!
We'll be sending all the positive energy we can down your way! I hope whatever choice you make works our as well as possible. Be sure to keep us posted.
Also, we would love to do Moab with you if it's at all possible with our schedules! ;)
Love ya,
Eric and the Mannimals
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