Time for a medical update.

Back in November I was supposed to start my endometriosis treatment, Lupron. However you have to get the shot on the 3rd day of your period. Well my body decided to take a month off so starting in November wasn't an option. Then to fit the pattern of my life, the day in December we flew to Miami I got my period...of course. So we were obviously in Florida during the 3rd day. Doctor said just to come in for January. January 1st came and went and I thought I was having a replay of November, however better late then never it finally showed so today I got my first Lupron shot. I know already this is not going to be fun. When I got in the car to drive to work the effects were already hitting me. Is this normal? They told me to call if anything felt odd but that I could suffer from quite a few side effect including severe mood swings, hot flashes, headaches, bone density loss, two others you don't want to hear about. Let's see I'm experiencing an Out of Body feeling, random tingling, extreme sleepiness, not so much hot flashes but constant hot, like my body is an oven and I'm cooking my organs for dinner. I feel High...not enjoyable High but high enough that I'm queasy and light headed and occasionally nauseous. The sleepiness and out of body feeling is kinda like when you take 2 Ambien and try to stay awake. I'm hoping this all goes away, maybe it's just happening like this because I JUST got the shot today? Maybe tomorrow will be better. I can deal with hot flashes, I can deal with being hot. I lived with it during the summer when I was pregnant with Jack, so I know I can deal. The 2 things you don't want to hear about are going to be rough, not only for me but for Jory and one makes the other even more not fun so hopefully I can skip those two side effects.

So my next shot will be February 6th, then March 5th. Then we'll discuss the date for my surgery, but I assume April. Awe...so much to look forward to. Ha Ha! It sucks not to be TTC, I hear my biological clock which is already defective and past warranty ticking away. I hate that I'm so jealous of other women who's bodies work as they should. I'm tired of feeling bad for wanting to get pregnant and give birth to my own child instead of giving up and just adopting, as if it were that easy. I hate that I've started to question my decision to pass up the adoption when I got pregnant.....

Apparently the mood swings have Swung-in cause I just started bawling and had to run to the health room to hide. The longer I was in there the more sad and angry I got. I should probably stop this post for now. I'm going to apologize in advance for any post that may offend or get too personal the next three months, hopefully I will have a little more control of my emotions soon.