Tales Of The Crib Part 1

I recently read Dom's COPS stories and I have so many of my own I thought I'd share them with you.

"Fire Starter"

Back in 1998 Jory and I lived in Pinnacle Lakeside Apartments in Murray, UT with our friends Juli and Eric. As usual we were out on our 3rd floor balcony smoking, drinking and bullshitting. We could hear some arguing across the parking lot in the building just southeast of us. This wasn't a new occurrence, we always eavesdropped on all the neighbor's fighting, it was like living in one giant COPS episode all the time. We see the guy come out of the 1st floor apartment and we get all excited cause we're going to SEE some action instead of just hear it. He was taking trips from his apartment out to the grass with arms full of clothing and suitcases full of clothes. He continues to make this huge pile and we're wondering what the hell he's doing but assume he's probably kicking his girlfriend out and this all her stuff...except we still haven't seen or heard her? His last trip out we notice what looks like a milk jug and he's dumping this liquid on the huge pile of clothes. It only took us a couple seconds to realize it's gasoline that he's dumping and he's planning a bonfire! I grab the phone and dial 911 immediately. With the amount of clothes he piled up I figured the flames would reach the 3rd floor apartments near him and possibly start the building on fire. As soon as he drops the match the flames roar all the way up to the 3rd floor and it's a lot closer then I thought. I explained the whole story to the 911 operator and they dispatched a fire truck. Like the voyeurs that we are, we continued to watch the chaos from our balcony. After a couple minutes other residents came out with large bowls and were filling them with water from the spigot and trying to put out the fire. It wasn't until we saw then that we all looked at each other and wondered why we hadn't ran down to help. While still laughing at ourselves for not helping the fire truck drives in and around to the left and disappeared. The 911 dispatcher called me back and asked me to go down and wave the truck in, they are lost. I explained that it just drove by but yes I'll run down. Five minutes later it makes it's way back around and I point out the already extinguished fire. The cops finally show up and we tell them about the couple fighting and we haven't seen them since he started the fire. We point out their apartment so they can go investigate. Still standing on our side of the parking lot we can see the cops knock on the front door and no one answer, walk around to the back of the apartment and knock on the sliding glass door and still no response. They came back over of me and said no one is answering, am I sure that was the apartment. We all nod in agreement and I ask the cop if he really expected the guy to answer the door? Seems to me if I just lit my girlfriend's stuff on fire and the cops come knocking on my door, I'm probably not going to answer. The cop said they didn't have reason to break in to the guy's apartment so there's nothing they can do. I asked him why they weren't worried about the girlfriend, maybe he hurt her or killed her? The cop said we didn't see him hurt her or kill her so again they can't do anything more. They suggested I report the incident to the apartment manager and they could investigate whether the girl was ok. Gee thanks Mr. Ociffer! And no I didn't report it and I have no idea what happened to the girl, we never saw her go in or out of the apartment after that.

"Cop Killer"

Same complex, probably the same year. Jory and I both worked at Bass Hotels & Resorts (currently known as Intercontinental Hotels Group). On our way home from work one night we pulled into the turning lane on State Street to turn east onto Hill Ave and there's a freakin' Army hummer blocking the road. I drive south 100 more feet and pull into the 7/11 on the corner and an Army dude with an M16 is telling me I need to leave, 7/11 is currently closed. I tell him we live down that road and I point at Hill Ave and he says this road is closed we'll have to go around. We get back on State street and drive north to 3900 S and head east to 300 E and that road is closed too. We continue north on 3900 S and see that 400 E is blocked too, even though it's not a thru street, it stops at an always locked gate to our complex. So we keep going around to 500 E, circling back on 4500 S and north again on Gordon LN and find the south side of 300 E is closed too. We circle all the way back around to the Chevron on 3900 S and 300 E, pull in and park. I walk in and ask the clerk if they know what is going on. She tells me some guy robbed a bank and is hiding in an apartment on Woodlake Drive. My jaw hits the floor and I explain that's our complex! I run out and tell Jory and we realize my brother Shane is probably home so I call him and he had no idea anything was going down. I tell him to go out on the balcony and tell me if he sees anything. He thinks I'm joking, then I hear a thud. He whispers that he sees Army dudes doin' the Army crawl in the grass, on the carports and around buildings. As he spies from the inside we were talking to other people stranded at the gas station, not being able to get home. We found out that this guy went to the bank and tried to cash a forged check, when they question him he acts suspicious so they call the cops. Apparently an off duty cop was nearby so he came to check it out and the robber guy shoots the cop and takes off to our apartment complex and hides out. I relay the whole story to Shane so he will go inside or at least be careful because the robber is armed. He called me a few hours later to tell us they were evacuating the buildings near the 300 E entrance, he could see them passing babies and children over the fence into the adjoining neighborhood. We end up spending 6 hours stuck at the Chevron and don't get home until 11:45 PM that night! Apparently when they finally got into the apartment the robber was hiding out in, he wasn't there. So the whole ordeal felt like a big fat waste of time. Although on our way up to our apartment we bumped into our neighbors who had escaped from Bosnia and they were all freaked out, saying they left Bosnia to come here and live in peace and they walk out their door to find Army men with M16's crawling around like we were in a middle of a war. I felt so bad for them. It was exciting to us even though our night was wasted hanging out at Chevron, but to them it was all too real and scary.

Since this is so long already I break them up into different posts.

Stayed tuned for Part 2...