Old Stubborn Farts

This month has been a busy one. First we hear that both Jory's GranDan and my Grumpa P are both dying with pretty much the same timeline, could be hours, days or weeks. Thankfully(for us?) they have both held on thus far. I say "for us?" because they both go in and out of knowing who people are, both have being seeing "things" and Grumpa has talked about being excited to go to coffee with his friends...who have all already died.

For me, it seems they are waiting, holding on for those close to them to let them go, to say good-bye. I think they would both rather, get on with the process and be painfree and sippin' coffee in the sky with old friends. Health wise, they both have cancer but it's not what's going to take them to the other side. They are both in their 80's, they've lived very long, exciting lives and it is their time. Don't get me wrong, this is horribly sad, but at the same time, it's been coming for a while now.

I have fought with myself daily on whether to go to Utah and see my Grumpa before he passes or wait for the funeral. Neither sound appealing. I have an issue seeing a loved one dying in the hospital. Not just because of Jack or because of I lost both my son and my father in 2.5 years, but I'd rather remember them by our last visit, which for both wasn't that long ago and of course they were both much more...lively, if that isn't the worst pun ever. For now, I'm waiting, which feels right for me.

The choice to see GranDan or not was totally up to Jory, which he based his decision not to go on Sandy's recent visit. Sounds like he's a little further down the road so to speak. For Sandy, I hope that her late brother Chip has been hearing her prayers for him to come get their dad and take him home. I guess I can say I'm thankful that my dad passed quickly so I didn't have to watch him slowly die. I can't even imagine how horribly painful and heartbreaking it is for Gary, Sandy and their siblings. I just wish my dad could have lived to be in his 80's too. 

Although at this point in the month, I'm going to be a little selfish and pray that they both make it past Sept. 1st as this week is already sad enough for us.

Love you Grumpa and GranDan, you both have a beloved great-grandson in the stars waiting to meet you!