2020 International Kindness Project - Jackpacks!

 "To help one person is to help the world." -- Joanne Cacciatore

July 27th is International Kindness Project Day started by the MISS Foundation. What is that...You ask? 

It's a Kindness Revolution! Everyone is invited to participate with us, doing simple acts of kindness in the memory of a loved one or if you're lucky enough not to have one, feel free to do it in Jack's name! This is something we as bereaved parents do often in memory of our kids who have died. 

JOIN the KINDNESS Revolution!
My very first Random Act of Kindness was very simple. I went through the Wendy's drive-thru expecting to buy a $5 gift card or certificate but they didn't have them anymore. I had several cars in front of me so I was near the ordering menu for about 15 minutes. I was feeling kind of silly, since this wasn't going as planned. While I sat there with my window down, there was delivery guy hauling food in and out of the back door. He had his son with him, he looked about 4 or 5 years old who was playing around the bushes. When the delivery guy was finished he grabbed his crates and said, "Come on Jack, time to go." I started crying, it was confirmation that Jack was with me and I would do this Act of Kindness no matter how silly or embarrassed I was. When I finally got to the window, I handed the girl a $5 bill and asked her to put my $5 towards the guy's order behind me. She looked at me funny and asked, "What?" I told her that I was doing a Random Act of Kindness in memory of my son Jack and I wanted to donate $5 to the order for the guy behind me in line. She still looked a little confused but took the $5 and the Kindness Card that said, "This Random Act of Kindness...Done in Loving Memory of Jack Kendrick Johnson. As I drove away I saw her hand the card to the man and "explain" what I had done. Driving through the parking lot my tears were blinding me and I had to pull over but I didn't want the guy to follow me so I wiped them away with my shirt and headed home. My heart was so heavy with love for Jack, my tears were full of pain and sorrow, but I felt so good because I knew Jack was with me at that moment. 

9 years ago I started donating "Jackpacks", backpacks filled with school supplies to children in need. The first year I donated 5 backpacks to 5 kindergartners who were living at one of A New Leaf's domestic abuse homeless shelters in Phoenix, AZ. Jack was turning 5 that August and would've started kindergarten.

2011 International Kindness Project Day

2012 International Kindness Project Day

For Jack's 6th birthday, my goal was 6 but I was able to donate 8 backpacks filled with supplies to 8 homeless first graders at A New Leaf in Mesa.

2013 International Kindness Project Day

I donated 7 Jackpacks to Sunset View Elementary school in Provo, UT 

(Jory's old elementary school)

2014 International Kindness Project Day

We donated 8 backpacks to CAPSA(a shelter) in Logan, Utah And we had left over funds from donations, to provide school supplies and 2 backpacks for a family in need with 6 kids also in Logan!

2015 International Kindness Project Day

We donated 25 Jackpacks to Syndi Knowlton at Utah Kids Foundation!  Special thanks to our friend Crissa Robertson who was able to gather 16 of those 25 Jackpacks with the help of her friends and family!

2016 International Kindness Project Day

We donated 17 Jackpacks to The Family Place in Logan, Utah! http://thefamilyplaceutah.org/ https://www.facebook.com/familyplaceutah/

  

  

2017 International Kindness Project Day

We donated 28 Jackpacks to The Family Place in Logan, Utah! http://thefamilyplaceutah.org/ https://www.facebook.com/familyplaceutah/

2018 International Kindness Project Day

We donated 37 Jackpacks to The Family Place in Logan, Utah! http://thefamilyplaceutah.org/ https://www.facebook.com/familyplaceutah/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmJ-3cjBW53/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BmJ-3cjBW53/

2019 International Kindness Project Day

We donated 20 Jackpacks to The Family Place in Logan, Utah! http://thefamilyplaceutah.org/ https://www.facebook.com/familyplaceutah/

https://www.instagram.com/p/B2ax21ygzFj/

https://www.instagram.com/p/B2ax21ygzFj/

 #MISSingJack 💙🐘Always  

#missfoundation #internationalkindnessprojectday #kindnessproject #jackpacks

We are only able to do this because of the kindness of our friends and family who made donations. We are still in the same predicament this year, I'm a Stay At Home/Get Out And Adventure Mom to Jack's little brother Jiraiya Dragon, our New Zealand Miracle and volunteer most of my time to Hike it Baby, Nationally for the Calendar Team and locally as a Branch Ambassador for Hike it Baby Utah County. I am determined to continue this annual donation for Jack's Birthday and Kindness Day regardless of our situation, we WILL make this work!

So here we go again peeps...

It's Jackpack Time!

So as I said, we can't afford 14 backpacks filled with supplies, but we can afford at least two. One will be picked out just as if it were for Jack and we will fill it with all the supplies and probably some extras. The second will be picked out by Jiraiya.

The other 12(or more) backpacks is where I NEED YOU! So my dearest Friends and Family....would you be willing to help me with this Kindness project for Kindness Day as well as Jack's 14th Birthday coming August 31? As I did last year I will photograph everything I purchase so you can see what your donations are going towards.

This was our first special Jackpack, picked out and bought as we would have if Jack were here for Kindergarten. Now that Jiraiya is 5 and starting kindergarten, I CANNOT tell you ENOUGH that this is exactly what Jiraiya would pick for himself this year! He is spiderman obsessed, so I know now this was the PERFECT pick for Jack at 5!

2020 Supply List

1 Backpack 

(Found them for $15-$30 at Walmart, (Costco has AMAZING backpacks that will last these kids years!) any cheaper and they don't last a year. I've had the $4.99 ones from Walmart fall apart while I was adding the supplies, so Pretty Please, as much as I appreciate the donation, I really want to provide these kids with a backpack that will last at least one year. THANKS!)

1 box of #2 Pencils

1 Box of 24 Crayons

1 Box of colored pencils

2 Glue Sticks

2 Pink or white Erasers

1 Pair of Fiskar Scissors

1 Pencil Case

1 1" binder

3 Pocket Folders

1 pkg Lined paper

2 lined notebooks

5 blue pens

3 Red pens

1 Ruler

1 Bottle of White/Elmers Glue

1 Pencil Sharpener

2 Highlighter Pens

Bottle of Hand Sanitizer

Optional additional supplies:

1 Stapler

1 Stapler Remover

1 Pkg. Washable Felt Markers

masks

shields

Can't donate a full backpack? NO WORRIES! Donate what you can and we'll fill in the blanks!

We're donating Jackpacks to the Family Place again this year, in Logan, Utah on September 7, 2020. They will be able to give these out to children in need throughout the year. 

HOW TO DONATE

(before September 7th)

I'm on VENMO as @Joeythegirl (NO FEE).

Or donate via PayPal  choose Send money to friends and family(NO FEE) and send to joeycjohnson@gmail.com OR click https://paypal.me/joeycjohnson

Or I can drive around Utah collecting donations whether that's cash or supplies! 

I have friends in Sandy, UT who are more than happy to be drop off locations.
My mom would be more than happy to pick up any donations in Cache Valley and can be a drop off in Smithfield, UT. Text, email or PM me for those addresses.

THANK YOU ALL in advance for whatever you are able to do to help me honor Jack for his 14th Birthday!

THANK YOU!

Haley Schuster for donating a backpack to get this started!

Thank you to Raquel Alfaro for encouraging me to do this through my anxiety this year!

Pregnancy Hormones and Grief

Pregnancy Hormones and Grief for your son's 7th Birthday and Angelversary weekend feels like Day 30 after your child died, you have zero control over your emotions, you're awake enough you're realizing that this wasn't a nightmare that you're going to wake up from, that it's the worst nightmare in the world and you can't sleep through it until you take your last breath, this is your life, everyday, WITHOUT your child that you Wanted so bad, you worked your ass off for EIGHT YEARS to have then gone in a blink of an eye. Everyone around you seems to have forgotten that your heart was ripped from your chest and you've been left with this gaping hole, all you want to do is die so the pain with stop, but you've made a promise to not die. But this isn't living, I don't want to live, I don't know how to live anymore, part of me is missing, why live? How is everyone breathing? The weight of the world is sitting on my chest, I gasp for every breath. My throat hurts all the time with this giant lump that hasn't gone away and every word I try to speak gets stuck on this lump. Constant headache wishing this invisible vice was removable. Body aches and shivers like I just came out of surgery. I'm drowning but there is no end, just the fight. This is my life MISSing my Jack!

It's been awhile since I left myself Go There, I haven't needed to Go There for awhile. I'm in a very healthy place with my grief now, I worked my ass off to get to where I am today. Pregnancy Hormones are like a Concorde flight straight to Raw grief when I didn't even realize I was getting on a plane! It just hits, takes me for the ride and eventually I'm able to get off, but I have zero control while I'm there. It's insanity, pregnancy hormones that is.

I'm going to eat some raspberry sherbet now so Dragon will dance these crazy hormones away. <3 p="">

Adoption update

Willow is coming home...Hopefully! I'm scared to death our birthmom will change her mind again! Due date changed to May 23rd but she's dilated to a 2 and cervix is 80% effaced! It could be any day now! Sorry for all the "!" but I'm freaking out! Calling lawyer to see how to fast track this since we lost hope and stopped planning. Keep us in your thoughts please! What a F'ing roller coaster! Hi I'm Joey and I'm a basketcase!

Update: Called lawyer, if birthmom goes into labor tomorrow and we don't have homestudy done we can still take the baby and finish up the paperwork. Obviously I will do everything I can to get it all done in time. So much to do and who knows how long to do it.

I wish there was a bit of excitement in me, but there isn't. Not until this is all done. Well I know it's in there...deep down inside but it's being guarded by the Wall of Joey. It's just too hard to Go There again knowing how much it hurts when it doesn't work out. I really thought the text yesterday was going to be the Official "Sorry I'm keeping her" notice. It was really weird, all weekend long, especially on Sunday I couldn't get it out of my head. I started a text to her at least 45 times, different ways of saying..."Hello, we're still here in Limbo...what's the official word? Yes or No" But I couldn't send it. I needed to know to fully let go of her, but I wasn't ready to hear "No" so I never sent it. Then yesterday the unexpected text came to me.

So you can all be excited for me, I promise to join you when she's home!

Oh for the women who are wondering(because I know men don't care), her next doctor's appointment is this Friday.

Somebody is Spoiled!

Keara calls me today, SCREAMING and CRYING with excitement about what Andy got her for her birthday(May 1). All I heard in between all the hysterics was "FedEx, MacBook Pro, Andy, OH MY FUCKING GAWD!" Then after a few more SCREAMS..."17 INCH Wide-screen MACBOOK PRO, can you believe it?"

On the other end of the phone I'm having a Geekgasm, asking for specs and drooling with jealousy. I teased her about how if he bought her a $3000.00 laptop, how big the engagement ROCK would be? OH and the Wedding Rock! She was too high with bliss to even respond to my "wedding talk". She was so juiced up she brought "Mac" over to my work during lunch and we fondled him together; it was magical.

So Andy...Mr. Moneybags, you did good man. I haven't seen her this thrilled since she told us about You and Spain. FYI...my approval(of you), can totally be bought! ;)

Adding LED ZEPPELIN to Birthday Wish List

Led Zeppelin Definitive Collection Mini LP Replica Limited Edition Box Set being released November 11th! Listing price is $199.98 (ouch!) but preorder through Amazon for $139.99!

2008 twelve CD box set from Led Zeppelin featuring all ten albums in beautiful mini-LP reproductions! The Led Zeppelin 40th Anniversary Cardboard Sleeve Reissue Series features advanced cardboard sleeve replicas of the original UK E-style album jackets, plus six bonus cardboard sleeves including five alternate jackets for In Through The Out Door and one alternate jacket for Led Zeppelin I utilizing the original ink. From their 1969 debut album straight through to their final album in 1979, Zeppelin laid the blueprint for what is now known as Classic Rock, Hard Rock and Heavy Metal. It really doesn't get better than this!. Warner. 2008.

Obviously if YOU really want to get me something, anything from here will do. Or if that's not easy enough I've laid it out for you straight on my Amazon Wish List. Now go buy me some stuff!

Happy Birthday Keara!

Hope you don't mind, I totally stole your photo.

What can I say about my friend Keara? She's the nicest, sweetest, most kind hearted, funny fucker I know. She would give you the world if she could...and she'll find a way! Our lives would be pretty boring without her...there's no Vicious Hippos without our guitarist! Keara brought laughter and happiness back into our sad lives. I could never thank her enough for being there, when everyone else was so far away. She helps me get through the week and sometimes even the day. I would be lost without her, She's the Sunshine to my rain. We Love You Friend!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Jack!

Jack Kendrick Johnson

August 31, 2006 - September 1, 2006

My Little Man Jack,

I can't believe it's been a year since you were born and passed away. It doesn't seem like it's been that long. I don't cry everyday anymore. It sneaks up on me in the shower a lot and I completely lose it when I see your 2nd cousin who was born 2 weeks after your due date. I couldn't imagine a day without bawling before so I guess I am dealing better even though I miss you just as much if not more. With this new schedule I'm thinking more seriously about finding a support group because I have a tendency to sail down "De-Nial" river because depression can take over my life. I pretty much stopped working on my grief seven months ago because I was scared I would lose control and end up in a loony bin. I couldn't read my online support boards anymore because all the ladies I had met after losing you were all getting pregnant. It's not fair that they are so fertile and can get pregnant so easily. You may be the only child I ever conceive and give birth to. ARGH this isn't supposed to be about me!

Your dad and I have made it a habit to purchase every elephant we see at a store. I can't imagine how our house would look if Butterflies or Dragonflies were your "symbol". Although there are times when Dragonflies come up and seem to linger around me more then usual and I think of you. It always sparks one of our little conversations. After reading The Lovely Bones, I imagine you right there with me when I talk to you. Of course it seems you're everywhere, like the deer and the lady bug at the cemetery. You're a part of everything in nature to me.

We finally got to see your star in the Big Dipper this past weekend! We've always just looked for the Big Dipper as a whole to talk to you in the sky. But in Moab you can see all the tiny stars that are apart of it, and there was yours, practically holding hands with the 2nd star in the handle! It seemed to twinkle when I'd talk to you, I know all stars twinkle but yours was twinkling at just the right times.

We had planned on spreading some of your ashes on Our Rock in Moab, but it never felt like the right moment. I was also uncertain whether I wanted to let some of your ashes go at all. One moment I was 90% sure I wanted to, five minutes later I was questioning it. Your dad and I decided that we will know when it's the right time and the right place.

I found the most perfect little birthday cake for you and for the same reason above, we still haven't cut the cake. It traveled well in our cooler and still looks perfect. I imagined your first birthday when I was pregnant with you and cutting the cake without you in a highchair prepared to attack the cake with your face seems unbearable. I've thought about freezing it and maybe trying again next year but I don't know.

Your grandpa and grandma P went to the Angel in Salt Lake and left you some flowers. I think your dad and I will go to the one here this weekend. Everyone in the family was thinking about you and missing you more then ever this weekend. Keara gave us the cutest little crocheted elephant (picture above), it's so cute and I hadn't planned on leaving it in my car but it's like a little piece of you that makes me smile when I get in. Makes me smile...did you notice? Oh how I must be growing. We also purchased a tiny Utah Centennial plate with your name on it, since the Centennial plate has Delicate Arch on it, it seemed appropriate. Also being in Utah during your first Birthday and Angelversary, it is something to remind us of this special trip.

I tried to talk your dad into getting tattoos with me, but he didn't like the look of the tattoo shop in Moab, so I'll have to settle for one here in Phoenix. I think we might be making this Moab trip an annual event. Had we stayed home for your special days, we might not have gotten out of bed. Instead we kept ourselves busy, showing Arches to Keara for the first time and being with friends that mean so much to us! It was the most mentally healthy thing we could have done. Hopefully next year we'll get to spend it with more family and friends. I think it was good that only Robby, Regina & boyz and Keara came this time though, it was a little more intimate for the First Year.

Well little man, that's all for now. Go play with your friends Cayman, Jeremiah, Zane, Peter and Theo in the stars. Feel free to visit me in my dreams, I'd love to hold you one more time, even if it is just a dream!

Miss you Always, Love you Forever!

Love Mama