Sunday, May 02, 2010
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Happy Birthday WDP!
Happy Birthday WDP! April 28, 2010, originally uploaded by Joeythegirl.
April 28, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Dark and Twisty
As most of you know from reading my blog, I have Serous Cystadenomas in/on/around my ovaries. It was an accidental find during my first surgery in 2006. We were told one day those cysts would become Serous Cystadenocarcinoma...or simply Ovarian Cancer. After consulting with six Oncologists we were told, we had a little time to try and get pregnant. How long exactly? No one knows. I continued to get tested and be monitored monthly and the first sight of possibly new Serous Cystadenomas, surgery was scheduled. I had my second surgery in 2007. Those cysts were biopsied and removed. Another cyst was found last spring and surgery was again scheduled. However, long story short I delayed the surgery because I was told I would lose my job if I went out on STD again(I had exhausted my FMLA) then cancelled that surgery due to the adoption falling apart. I took the summer off from going to the doctor, not only to "recover" from another huge loss but I had been going consistently since 2000 and I really needed a break. I planned on going back to the doctor in the fall, but I got a new job and couldn't miss any time and then couldn't take any time off until I earned the hours.
TMI Warning:
Back in November after I started my new job I started having dull pains in my pelvic area. I thought they were cramps but they never seemed to go away. That didn't scare me much because I also had 4 periods within 2 months, with a week in between, so the constant cramps seemed to fit. Having 4 periods so close together did warrant cause for a doctor's appointment but I hadn't earned enough time off to make an appointment.
Almost two weeks ago the dull pain turned in stabbing pain on the right side of the pelvis, it was so bad it moved into my back. I was doubled over in pain, so I left work early to go to the hospital. Because I didn't want to go alone, I drove home to pick up Keara who was car-less. Right before I got home, the stabbing pain stopped like someone flipped a switch. I laid on the couch trying to decide what to do, expecting the pain to come back but it never did. Instead of wasting the money on the ER I decided to wait for my doctor's appointment the next afternoon.
After explaining my symptoms(excessive periods, constant need to urinate, pain in pelvis, sensitive to the touch and bloating) to my doctor he sent me in for an MRI and blood tests. He told me, we may or may not even see anything on the MRI especially if we caught it early. We would be scheduling surgery soon, immediately if the MRI and blood tests together warrant it.
This past Monday I went in for my MRI and was told my doctor would have the results in three days. Yesterday I called my doctor's office, left them a message asking them to please let me know if I'd be hearing anything today or if I would have to wait until Monday. This waiting was driving me crazy, literally.
I got my results today, sort of. My nurse Carrie said the only thing she could tell me without going against doctor's orders was that they did find a cyst or "something" on my right ovary, something that wasn't found on the ultrasound. They hadn't yet received my blood results and that I needed to make an appointment to come in and discuss the result's in detail. When I called to make the appointment I was told that UNFORTUNATELY my doctor is out of town until the end of February and I can't get in until March 2nd. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
I begged for more information, how I can possibly sit here and wait two weeks to find out if I have Ovarian Cancer? Carrie relayed through the receptionist that, that's all she could say. She wasn't supposed to tell me anything, other then to make the appointment. They were really hoping to have my blood results back before he left but they didn't get them yet. She said, she would say to try and relax but she knows I won't.
There I was sitting outside on my break, in shock. My head began to spin as I texted Jory and Keara the news. If it wasn't bad news, Carrie would have said, it's not a big deal, don't worry. Her tone on my voicemail wouldn't have been upset, cold, to the point. I'm really tight with my nurses Carrie & Kathy, they love me, they've been there for me through everything, Jack, my dad, the adoption. She would have comforted me if she could.
Yes, I know that we won't know until my appointment and even then we might not really know until surgery. I'm telling myself that over and over and over. I'm trying not to freak out, trying to keep it together. It's not like I know I have cancer, yet. Maybe it's all just a HUGE motherfucking coincidence and we'll find out it's just a normal(for me) cyst and all the other symptoms are unrelated. But honestly, I feel it in my soul. I know you think I'm crazy, I'm the first to admit I'm crazy, I should be locked up in an institution! But I just know. In my panic to get home and pick up Keara to go to the hospital two weeks ago, I realized this is what was probably happening. It's what I had been secretly fearing since December. In my head, when I accepted that I probably have a battle in front of me, I felt peace and the pain stopped. I didn't share this before now because I thought I might really get locked up. ;) Who admits this crazy shit? Apparently I do. Oh well, think what you want. Again, it could all be in my head, maybe they should have MRI'd my head!
I'll keep you posted.
TMI Warning:
Back in November after I started my new job I started having dull pains in my pelvic area. I thought they were cramps but they never seemed to go away. That didn't scare me much because I also had 4 periods within 2 months, with a week in between, so the constant cramps seemed to fit. Having 4 periods so close together did warrant cause for a doctor's appointment but I hadn't earned enough time off to make an appointment.
Almost two weeks ago the dull pain turned in stabbing pain on the right side of the pelvis, it was so bad it moved into my back. I was doubled over in pain, so I left work early to go to the hospital. Because I didn't want to go alone, I drove home to pick up Keara who was car-less. Right before I got home, the stabbing pain stopped like someone flipped a switch. I laid on the couch trying to decide what to do, expecting the pain to come back but it never did. Instead of wasting the money on the ER I decided to wait for my doctor's appointment the next afternoon.
After explaining my symptoms(excessive periods, constant need to urinate, pain in pelvis, sensitive to the touch and bloating) to my doctor he sent me in for an MRI and blood tests. He told me, we may or may not even see anything on the MRI especially if we caught it early. We would be scheduling surgery soon, immediately if the MRI and blood tests together warrant it.
This past Monday I went in for my MRI and was told my doctor would have the results in three days. Yesterday I called my doctor's office, left them a message asking them to please let me know if I'd be hearing anything today or if I would have to wait until Monday. This waiting was driving me crazy, literally.
I got my results today, sort of. My nurse Carrie said the only thing she could tell me without going against doctor's orders was that they did find a cyst or "something" on my right ovary, something that wasn't found on the ultrasound. They hadn't yet received my blood results and that I needed to make an appointment to come in and discuss the result's in detail. When I called to make the appointment I was told that UNFORTUNATELY my doctor is out of town until the end of February and I can't get in until March 2nd. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
I begged for more information, how I can possibly sit here and wait two weeks to find out if I have Ovarian Cancer? Carrie relayed through the receptionist that, that's all she could say. She wasn't supposed to tell me anything, other then to make the appointment. They were really hoping to have my blood results back before he left but they didn't get them yet. She said, she would say to try and relax but she knows I won't.
There I was sitting outside on my break, in shock. My head began to spin as I texted Jory and Keara the news. If it wasn't bad news, Carrie would have said, it's not a big deal, don't worry. Her tone on my voicemail wouldn't have been upset, cold, to the point. I'm really tight with my nurses Carrie & Kathy, they love me, they've been there for me through everything, Jack, my dad, the adoption. She would have comforted me if she could.
Yes, I know that we won't know until my appointment and even then we might not really know until surgery. I'm telling myself that over and over and over. I'm trying not to freak out, trying to keep it together. It's not like I know I have cancer, yet. Maybe it's all just a HUGE motherfucking coincidence and we'll find out it's just a normal(for me) cyst and all the other symptoms are unrelated. But honestly, I feel it in my soul. I know you think I'm crazy, I'm the first to admit I'm crazy, I should be locked up in an institution! But I just know. In my panic to get home and pick up Keara to go to the hospital two weeks ago, I realized this is what was probably happening. It's what I had been secretly fearing since December. In my head, when I accepted that I probably have a battle in front of me, I felt peace and the pain stopped. I didn't share this before now because I thought I might really get locked up. ;) Who admits this crazy shit? Apparently I do. Oh well, think what you want. Again, it could all be in my head, maybe they should have MRI'd my head!
I'll keep you posted.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I've made you wait long enough....
I'm sure most of you were wracking your brains, thinking of all the crazy News I could be telling you. I'm going to bet most of you either thought we'd be announcing a pregnancy or adoption, but no. But you were all close. Very close. Second best to actually being pregnant is........................................................
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MY KEARA IS HAVING A BABY!!!
23 weeks
A couple weeks ago I was lucky enough to go with her to a 3D & 4D ultrasound where we learned the sex. But we're not telling...not yet. Gotta keep you all guessing. For those of you who know KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SHUT or I'll punch you in the throat! We want to keep it fun for everyone else.
Keara is hopefully going to start blogging about this new adventure so I don't have to do it for her. ;) Her and Andy are super excited and so happy to meet their new little one in April 2010. I'm SUPER excited for them and it's truly fun to help her plan and shop for little Chuckie/Chuckita, that's what I named the baby when she was 4 months along and told me about her crazy Chuckie (Child's Play) dream because it was so similar to my Freddy Krueger dream when I was pregnant with Jack, we call him "Freddy" until he was born.
My mom told Keara that she has to share her baby with me, and apparently I get the bottom half! LOL We're all betting whether or not s/he'll have red or brown hair and green or blue eyes, so feel free to place your bets in the comments. After everyone votes, I'll let you know what I think. Here's a pic of Andy and Keara to help you decide: LOL I guess this picture isn't the best to help you, but it will have to do for now.
CONGRATS TO ANDY & KEARA!
Jory and I can't wait to meet the wee little leprechaun! ;)
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Trying to catch you all up!
Sheesh I make my blog private and I stop blogging. What's the point? Only five people have checked it since I went private. I used to blog for me, but was excited and enthralled to have so many readers! Everyone knows I went private until our court case gets resolved...no reason to give the EX ASSHOLES any ammo, even if it is just my personal feelings, my depression or worse off anything to do with Jack. To be honest, I don't think it has everything to do with lack of readers. Going five months without a job was killing me. Bills to be paid and the money was running out! Writing about it was only going to stress me out further. Sitting around my house, glued to my computer searching for a job that just wasn't out there didn't provide me with a lot to write about.
I did finally give up on finding anything in IS/IT Support and started searching for customer service, which felt like failure. I don't know if I'm alone feeling like I just stepped back 12 years. Everything I worked for, all the experience flushed down the toilet! THEN getting YOU SUCK letters from measly customer service jobs, what a shot to the ego! Then came along my current job.
I'm working for a Health Care company in Scottsdale. Thankfully I make more then all of the other customer service jobs that were hiring, but still, it was a HUGE pay cut! The people are all really nice, what a change from the last place! It could totally change once I'm out of training, but so far, the high school bull shit doesn't exist that I've noticed. Or it isn't as blatant as my former company...seriously Night and Day!
I am continuing to look for a job back in my field, only because I found out the first day that we can't apply for another department or position for A YEAR! AND there is no promise of an IT job even opening after a year! I'd love to stay with this company at least from what I've seen so far, but I just can't do customer service for a whole year.
Adjusting to the butt crack of dawn schedule has been a struggle. I don't know that I will ever adjust being the night owl that I am. It has helped my insomnia quite a bit though. By the time I finally go to bed, I'm out once my head hits the pillow. Although I don't normally get anywhere near to 8 hours of sleep so I zombie through my day at work. That won't work once I'm out of training, this job isn't like other customer service positions, we're dealing with people's health care and we know how passionate we all get with our health care! I can't even understand my own benefits, now I have to explain them to others.
Enough about work, lets get to the fun stuff....LIKE Keara coming home! YAY My Keara is HOME!!! That totally deserves three exclamation points people! I found out no too long ago that she'd be coming home for a bit and since then I've been dying of anticipation! Then as the day came closer and she was packing, I asked her what airline she was flying in on so I could greet her at the airport and she noticed something funny with her itinerary...it was missing her flight from Seville to Madrid. THANK GAWD I asked her about it...she didn't have a printer so she was just going to wait until she got to the airport to check in and print her boarding pass. Come to find out, her flights had been cancelled because she booked it through Orbitz and you can't book flights starting out outside the USA, so she booked a round trip(it was cheaper then one way) from Phx to Spain and obviously returning Spain to Phx...but was only going to use the returning part of the tickets. Ya, I guess that's a No, even though she's done it before, just used the starting out part of the tickets.
ANYWAY...(I know this is SO exciting right?) So an additional $700ish later, she book a new flight and arrived safely on my Birthday. The BEST birthday present EVER! After picking her up at the airport and letting her freshen up at her mom's house, we went and picked Jory up and went out to eat at Famous Daves, SCRUMPTIOUS!
Since then, we've been inseparable. I'm sure Jory's enjoying the extra estrogen in the house he he ;) She picked up with her wifely duties immediately...NOT those duties, you dirrrty perves. You all need a Keara in your lives, she helps me with dishes, brings over chicken noodle soup for our sickly husband, jumps up before you can and feeds the dogs when Jimi lets us know their dish is empty, CLEANS YOUR HOUSE WHILE YOU'RE AT WORK(this just happened Thursday!) and much much more.
I'm trying to soak up all the Keara I can right now, since she'll be heading back to Spain next year. I know it's a YEAR a way, well not quite a year but I truly appreciate my Keara, she's a life saver.
I've been really lucky to have great girlfriends in life, let alone keep them for so many years. Keara came into my life when I needed her most. She was the first friend I told about my pregnancy symptoms, she was the first person I called when Jory and I saw "PREGNANT" on the test. She was there with me for every step of exciting baby shopping and ultrasound pictures. And most importantly, she was there for us when Jack was born and died too soon. She cried with us and made us laugh. She watched hours and hours of mind numbing TV with us while we learned how to breath again. She knows when I'm faking it and need her to acknowledge how much life sucks.
Since this blog is private and only Keara and I read it, I guess it's ok to announce some really awesome news! Are you ready for it? Seriously, Are You READY? LOL I'm entertaining and boring myself at the same time here...I've lost my touch, this blog sucks, you should just move on.
I guess you'll have to check back later for the AWESOME NEWS! he he This will prove only Keara and I visit my blog ;) I'm so mean.
Peace Out
I did finally give up on finding anything in IS/IT Support and started searching for customer service, which felt like failure. I don't know if I'm alone feeling like I just stepped back 12 years. Everything I worked for, all the experience flushed down the toilet! THEN getting YOU SUCK letters from measly customer service jobs, what a shot to the ego! Then came along my current job.
I'm working for a Health Care company in Scottsdale. Thankfully I make more then all of the other customer service jobs that were hiring, but still, it was a HUGE pay cut! The people are all really nice, what a change from the last place! It could totally change once I'm out of training, but so far, the high school bull shit doesn't exist that I've noticed. Or it isn't as blatant as my former company...seriously Night and Day!
I am continuing to look for a job back in my field, only because I found out the first day that we can't apply for another department or position for A YEAR! AND there is no promise of an IT job even opening after a year! I'd love to stay with this company at least from what I've seen so far, but I just can't do customer service for a whole year.
Adjusting to the butt crack of dawn schedule has been a struggle. I don't know that I will ever adjust being the night owl that I am. It has helped my insomnia quite a bit though. By the time I finally go to bed, I'm out once my head hits the pillow. Although I don't normally get anywhere near to 8 hours of sleep so I zombie through my day at work. That won't work once I'm out of training, this job isn't like other customer service positions, we're dealing with people's health care and we know how passionate we all get with our health care! I can't even understand my own benefits, now I have to explain them to others.
Enough about work, lets get to the fun stuff....LIKE Keara coming home! YAY My Keara is HOME!!! That totally deserves three exclamation points people! I found out no too long ago that she'd be coming home for a bit and since then I've been dying of anticipation! Then as the day came closer and she was packing, I asked her what airline she was flying in on so I could greet her at the airport and she noticed something funny with her itinerary...it was missing her flight from Seville to Madrid. THANK GAWD I asked her about it...she didn't have a printer so she was just going to wait until she got to the airport to check in and print her boarding pass. Come to find out, her flights had been cancelled because she booked it through Orbitz and you can't book flights starting out outside the USA, so she booked a round trip(it was cheaper then one way) from Phx to Spain and obviously returning Spain to Phx...but was only going to use the returning part of the tickets. Ya, I guess that's a No, even though she's done it before, just used the starting out part of the tickets.
ANYWAY...(I know this is SO exciting right?) So an additional $700ish later, she book a new flight and arrived safely on my Birthday. The BEST birthday present EVER! After picking her up at the airport and letting her freshen up at her mom's house, we went and picked Jory up and went out to eat at Famous Daves, SCRUMPTIOUS!
Since then, we've been inseparable. I'm sure Jory's enjoying the extra estrogen in the house he he ;) She picked up with her wifely duties immediately...NOT those duties, you dirrrty perves. You all need a Keara in your lives, she helps me with dishes, brings over chicken noodle soup for our sickly husband, jumps up before you can and feeds the dogs when Jimi lets us know their dish is empty, CLEANS YOUR HOUSE WHILE YOU'RE AT WORK(this just happened Thursday!) and much much more.
I'm trying to soak up all the Keara I can right now, since she'll be heading back to Spain next year. I know it's a YEAR a way, well not quite a year but I truly appreciate my Keara, she's a life saver.
I've been really lucky to have great girlfriends in life, let alone keep them for so many years. Keara came into my life when I needed her most. She was the first friend I told about my pregnancy symptoms, she was the first person I called when Jory and I saw "PREGNANT" on the test. She was there with me for every step of exciting baby shopping and ultrasound pictures. And most importantly, she was there for us when Jack was born and died too soon. She cried with us and made us laugh. She watched hours and hours of mind numbing TV with us while we learned how to breath again. She knows when I'm faking it and need her to acknowledge how much life sucks.
Since this blog is private and only Keara and I read it, I guess it's ok to announce some really awesome news! Are you ready for it? Seriously, Are You READY? LOL I'm entertaining and boring myself at the same time here...I've lost my touch, this blog sucks, you should just move on.
I guess you'll have to check back later for the AWESOME NEWS! he he This will prove only Keara and I visit my blog ;) I'm so mean.
Peace Out
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving
One year ago today was the last time I talked to my dad. He was up at the cabin alone, really appreciating life for the first time. He was so happy to have the winter off work and was planning on coming to see me for xmas. He told me he loved me and how proud he was of me. I told him I loved him and was excited to see him soon. I didn't know it was the last time I would hear his voice. I love him and miss him so much! Happy Thanksgiving Dad & Jack!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
A Day at the Phoenix Zoo
Friday night Darby asked if I wanted to join her and Todd at the Phoenix Zoo on Saturday. Since Keara and I failed to go while she was still here, I figured it would make for a fun day.
When we arrived I noticed the water out front and remembered Keara telling me how a lot of people who can't or don't want to care for their pet turtles anymore, bring them to the zoo and put them in the water. Occasionally the turtle population gets out of control and it's left to the zookeepers to handle. So when we went over the bridge to enter the zoo, I wasn't surprised to see all the turtles on the logs. It was Turtle Heaven!
I thought these guys were really cute. Not scare of humans at all. We literally could have reached out and touched this one. He was super interested in what I was doing. He reminded me of Jimi, sitting all Teddy Bear style.
Fatty McFatterson sat and ate the entire time we were watching them. Look at his belly!
This is when I regretted not renting a bike. It didn't feel as steep as it looked, but there was a point when I really wanted to hijack a lady's Rascal Scooter! I don't know why the zoo doesn't rent Segways, they would make tons of money!
This is Arizona's first Governor, George W. P. Hunt's Pyramid Tomb located in Papago Park, overlooking the zoo.
Sleeping Tiger Hidden Dragon?
Apparently it was nap time at the zoo. The Lion and his Lioness were having a lazy Saturday afternoon.
Mazzy & Jimi sleep like this all the time!
The Rose Garden smelled Awesome! I could have sat there all day!
Pink Flamingos for Gary!
WARNING...Zebra Junk in the next photo!
I'm working on a Modesty Patch, but wanted to get the photos posted so Keara would stop yelling at me. ;)
Proceed at your own risk!
Elderphants! Elderphants!
I L O V E Elephants...it's not just that they symbolize Jack for me, but they are also a symbol of wisdom and fertility. I took some video of this one swaying back and forth. At first I thought "oh how cute, it's dancing", but as I've just read, it's not dancing. Only elephants in captive sway back and forth, it's thought to be symptomatic of stress disorders, and probably made worse by a barren environment, rocking behavior may be a precursor to aggressive behavior in captive elephants! Poor Elderphants!
The Orangutans were the hit of the zoo! The baby girl is 3 years old. We never made it passed the crowd to the front so I could get some real good photos. I just held my hand up above my head and starting taking random pictures. I never imagined I would have caught these three!
To prove we actually went to the zoo....Here's Darby and Todd.
I was there too...see!
Monkey Island
Monkey Village was my favorite part! You actually get to go inside the habitat where the Spider Monkeys could actually jump on you if they wanted to! They moved so fast I'm surprised I got any good pictures.
This one was right above my head, I think he might have been deciding whether or not to jump on me!
After Monkey Village, my Miami Blister from HELL returned with a Vengeance and I was in so much pain, I couldn't enjoy myself any longer. I split off from Todd and Darby and headed for the exit. At the pace I was walking on my heels, I knew they could enjoy the rest of the zoo while I limped my way to the car.
Overall it was a great time! I wish I could cut my feet off and buys some new ones because it's really impeding on my good times! But before I go SAW on myself, I will find some good walking shoes and leave the flip flops for shorter walks.
I took this picture today, after I did surgery on both quarter size blisters! Walking my mile to work tomorrow is going to SUCK ASS!
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