I mentioned to Jory the other day how fast this pregnancy is going by. I can't believe I'm 4 months already! It seems like yesterday I was 7 weeks.
I'm feeling almost like I'm not pregnant anymore, except for the ever growing midsection. I'm still in my regular clothes, which is a good thing because I don't have the money yet to afford maternity clothes. I still have 3 holes left in my belt, although I'm not sure my pants will make it that long. I'm sure I would be more comfortable in pants with no belts but unless my work starts to allow pajama pants Monday thru Friday, I'm screwed.
I'm not a skirt girl, unless it's a hippie skirt which I haven't worn for 10 years, but skirts are definitely starting to look oh so comfortable! Of course my style of shirts (any band T-Shirts) I would wear with my hippie skirts are not acceptable at work either. Maybe plain colored V-neck shirts? That might work.
You know, I think the USofA needs to change their views and laws on maternity. Once you get pregnant, you should be able to stay at home, even if that means working from home. That way you can wear whatever is comfortable. OR allow us to wear whatever the hell we want in the office, even if we have to wear an "I'm Pregnant" sign around our neck or sticker on our forehead. Although that sticker will probably fall off with all the sweating we do.
Speaking of sweating, where is the book that tells you all the changes your body will go through when pregnant? Why do all the books I'm reading leave all the crazy shit out? I was prepared and willing to go through anything before I got pregnant and am still a willing participant, I'm just thinking about all those other ladies out there. They should know all this crazy shit that happens and not wake up in shock when your nipples are twice the size they used to be. Okay maybe not twice the size, but serious gerth growth! We all know that your boobs grow bigger, your belly obviously grows and you should expect a road map of stretch marks unless you're a celebrity and have secret access to stretch mark removal cream and body bounce back spray. Have you seen
Kate Hudson in a bikini after she lost her 60lb pregnancy weight? Seriously!
They should tell us that your belly button will go through several shape changes before it pops out when the turkey is done. Or how about the amount of sweat you will produce sitting in front of a fan in an A/C controlled office. How about how your hair grows in weird spurts, the color changes, if it was straight before it's curly now and if it was curly, now it's curly in a different way. What about the fact that sitting becomes truly uncomfortable even in your second month?
And you think you know what to expect when they say you will be tired all the time. It isn't about being tired all the time, it's falling asleep at the most random moments! You constantly feel like your fighting the effect of a bottle of sleeping pills. I'm not even mentioning the different types of constipation, pimples, fever blisters and ingrown hairs. I also assumed the swollen feet, ankles and legs didn't happen until your last month or two, nope it started for me the first month! And don't tell me that's an Arizona heat thing because it was worse in Utah!
I'm not saying I've experienced all of these, because I haven't. But I've been told about most of them by ladies in an online pregnancy group I'm a part of. I haven't even mentioned half of what I've read because it could go on forever and I'm already bored with this post. So my point is, someone needs to write a book, a manual if you will for first time mothers.
I'm honestly enjoying every second of this journey. If only people could stop asking those stupid questions. "Are you sure this is what you want?" It's a little late to be asking that, don't you think Asshat? "Are you sure you thought this through?" Oh wait...what have I been doing for the last 5 years of my life? Going to bi-weekly Dr. appointments constantly being poked and prodded and taking 18 pills a day for fun? Oh right...because we've been trying to get pregnant before I have to have my ovaries removed so I don't die of Cancer you Fuckface! Or worse, they reference their shitty behaved kids and ask, "Are you sure you're ready for this?" It makes me want to scream, If you had raised your kids right Fucktard, they wouldn't be eating dog shit off the ground and running around wiping the remains on your fancy furnature!
So people, if there is anything you remember here today, please Pretty Please, STOP asking those FUCKING questions! I'm not a 17 year old high school student who had sex with my boyfriend so he wouldn't dump me and didn't use a condom because That is So Uncool!
Did I mention the emotional changes you will go through while pregnant?
P.S. My next appointment is Aug. 17th, hopefully we will find out the sex of Baby J v2.0!
