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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

HCG VLCD Day 43 and stuff

Vlog 95



Monday, April 11, 2011

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

HCG VLCD Day 30 + Annoying myself

Vlog 88



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Monday, March 28, 2011

HCG VLCD Day 29 + Exciting News!

Vlog 87



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Tuesday, March 01, 2011

I've lost 4 pounds!

Vlog 65

In case some of you aren't actually watching my videos, I thought I'd answer some FAQ's I've been getting here and there.

During my doctors appointment last Tuesday(Feb 22) my doctor asked if I'd be interested in the HCG Diet. I had heard of it online and on TV but didn't really know what it was all about. He said if I lost 40 lbs it would increase my chances of ovulating and being that I'm now considered Advanced Maternal Age, if I'm going to get pregnant, I really need to pull out all the stops. So I agreed, let's do it!

My only hesitation was that It's A DIET. I don't believe in diets! I've seen my mom try all sorts of diets and of course she lost weight, but only gained it back when she stopped eating their food or taking their pills. It taught me an important lesson. Diets do NOT work! The only thing that will work is a lifestyle change.

I've been trying to convince myself to make this lifestyle change for YEARS! But in the back of my head my doctor's voice would always chimes in saying, "No matter what food you eat, your body(because of my extreme Insulin Resistance and Extreme PCOS) will always treat food as if it's a donut. This is why you've struggled so long to lose weight." All these years we've tried to battle my Insulin Resistance with medication but I've never seen any results other then the HORRIBLE side effects!

However, at this point, if this diet works, then great! If I can lose the weight to be able to ovulate, AWESOME! More importantly, regardless of what he's said before about how my body reacts to food, I want to be healthy. I want to change my life! I don't want to die from a heart attack like my dad.

So I'm using this "diet" to teach me how to eat healthy. How to control my portions. This is merely a stepping stone to my ultimate lifestyle change.

My doctor prescribed me the real HCG drops. He told me and I've read that you get the same results from drops and injections so I chose the drops. There's a lot of people doing the Homeopathic drops you can buy online, but they're more expensive at least from what I've found...my 30 day supply were $50 because my insurance doesn't cover it.

I was hungry Monday AFTER I ate my lunch but was fine after dinner. I only ate once a day before and I would eat HUGE portions so I think I'm struggling because my body is adjusting to the tiny portions. I was not as hungry yesterday as I was Monday so I think that will get better after a few more days. I'm also struggling with only drinking water, because I've never liked tea and I'm trying to kick the caffeine so I'm not drinking coffee either. I'm trying to find out if Sam's flavored water is OK because the label says it doesn't have anything in it! That would be a great soda replacement for me since I'm a Mountain Dew addict!

Anyway...here's the video!



Tuesday, February 22, 2011

FAILURE

That's right I FAILED. I did not daily vlog for the last two days. It's been a real shitty weekend, even though Saturday night was filled with lots of fun at a friend's house. And yesterday I went to lunch with my MISSters. I'm sorry! I wasn't in the mood to film either event. I kind of just wanted to try and enjoy myself, with the exception of lunch, I would have filmed that but I had the worst headache ever!

I'm not trying to make excuses but vlogging daily isn't easy! The filming part isn't too bad but the FOUR hours of editing, saving and uploading can take a toll on a sane person and I'm not sane!

The main reason I haven't vlogged is because I've been going through some personal issues that I'm not going to vlog or write about in detail and I've got nothing left to give. Essentially I need a job! I never expected to still be unemployed almost a year after being laid off(last May). I spend between 8 and 10 hours per day searching for and applying for jobs. Do you know how exhausting and depressing that becomes? You start to feel hopeless, unwanted, unnecessary, worthless and what's the fucking point? 

We're about to lose everything we've worked so hard for and it's my fault. I know I didn't chose to get laid off, I had no control over that. But honestly, it all goes back to the failed adoption. I should have listened to Jory in the first place, we should never have gone down that road. I should have never quit my job when she called and said she was delivering the baby. I should never have believed her. I did this, it IS my fault. I can't ever take that decision back. I can't ever rectify that mistake.

So I just keep looking for a job and hope that tomorrow I will get a phone call. Because how does one live with themselves being the cause of losing everything for their family? I'm tired of being a failure at life.



Tuesday, February 08, 2011

MISS Moms Night Out at the Chocolate Festival

Vlog #47 Friday night me and some other MISS Moms headed over to Glendale for a mexican dinner and LOTS of Chocolate at the Chocolate Festival. We had an excellent time! Enjoy!



Monday, February 07, 2011

Last Day in Pootah!

Vlog #45 Did you know my videos look BETTER in HD? You can either click the Title "Last Day in Pootah" above or since I'm feeling generous, you can CLICK RIGHT HERE to watch in HD. ENJOY!



Also did you know YouTube PAYS people with a lot of subscribers to make videos? This is why I'm always asking you to SUBSCRIBE! Maybe one day I'll have enough subscribers and YouTube will actually PAY ME MONEY to keep posting videos. You never know.

Back in Arizona!

Vlog #46



Saturday, February 05, 2011

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Donate for My Kindness Project to Honor Jack!