All Hallows Eve

This is my all time favorite holiday. Last year was the one and only year I did not celebrate Halloween...for obvious reasons. In fact, I worked until midnight and had one of the most miserable days of my life. I hated that Halloween had changed for me, forever. This year, I've tried to take it back and "do it" for Jack. Can't say that will happen for any other holiday. Christmas will still suck this year, technically had Jack been born on his due date, this would have been his first Christmas. Last year was horrible because I would have been 9 months pregnant on Xmas Eve, instead I wasn't pregnant anymore and my son had died. But that's my life.

Anyway, this is sort of a lame post. I'm off work in 29 minutes and I can't wait to get home, turn on the lights and wait to hand out candy. Arizona is big on the Trunk or Treat things so I'm not actually sure we'll have any kids come out. One can hope.

Happy Haunting!

NaBloPoMo

National Blog Posting Month
As the badge says, I'll be posting every day for the month of November. Which is going to be difficult since we're still waiting for Qwest (formly known as USWorst) to hook us up! But I'll manage.

Free fee to join me in this blogging quest. Check out NaBloPoMo now!

Jack's Candle from Oct. 15th

Taking A Break

After we didn't get pregnant this last time, I was scheduled to start Endo treatments for the next 3 months. My doctor is going to put me on Lupron for three months, then surgery again, early next year to dye test my tubes, biopsy and laser the cysts and scrape the Endo from my uterus. We will then try again for a couple months (I think) and if blood tests aren't good, then it's back to Lupron for another 3 months.

When I left the doctor's office I started thinking about how drained I am of all of this. I'm tired of 4 doctor's appointments a month, I'm tired of shots and pills and bad news. I'm just tired. I need a break. Although I feel this way every month, I have never really thought about taking a month off because I'm so determined to get pregnant. But since I can't take fertility treatments this month anyway, it seemed like the best time to BREATH.

Still, this plan was all just in my head, as usual. It was not until this most recent pharmaceutical adventure began that I thought I really might do this. The pharmacy called and told me they can't order Lupron, my insurance wants me to go through a special pharmacy. I called their number and had to set up this special account for "special" drugs. They would contact my doctor and if my insurance covers it, it would be Fed Ex'd to me Monday. I was supposed to take it into my doctor LAST Thursday or Friday so he could show me how to inject myself, then I would do it by myself afterwards. I figured it might not hurt to wait until Tuesday, but here we are on Wednesday and I still haven't heard a word or received my damn drugs!

I guess it's official, this is my first break in 2 years (minus the 2 months after Jack was born). Obviously there is no break from my regular regime of prescriptions but I don't have to get naked at the Dr's 3 times this month, I don't have to take the fertility pills, I don't have to get the shots and I don't have to start feeling like I'm in early menopause for another month.

Much Breathing and unscheduled sex will now ensue.

STFU!

Things DON'T happen for a reason. People find reasons for things that happen!

Lighting Our Candle at 7 PM

Always Remember, Never Forget

Our Sweet Jack

A friend emailed me this poem today, I wanted to share it with you all.

"A Pair of Shoes"

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

Author unknown

BFN!

For those of you who don't know, that means BIG FUCKING NEGATIVE! I'm not pregnant. This feels like failure. There's not much to say at this point. I'm disappointed. I'm devistated. I'm heart broken.

October 15, 2007 7:00 PM

Confession

The sound of someone on the phone, typing on the keyboard is hypnotizing, calming and addictive. Keep typing.

Photos from Utah Part 1

Here are some of my favorite photos from Utah. You can see the entire set on my photo blog.

Christopher & Fawn's Wedding

August 25, 2007

My nephew Haiden, the party animal.

My new nieces Smiley & Munchkin

My favorite part of the ceremony. I knew this was going to happen.

Sprout, Smiley, Mystery girl & Munchkin

Sweet lil' Munchkin

Smiley not so smiley

Munchkin the Angel

The Family

Minus Jason, Pim and the 3 princesses

(L to R)

Dad, Mom, Jessie, Shane, Fawn, Haiden, Christopher, Me, Jory & Colby

(and the pups)

Another novel, not too bad though.

Everyday I sit here at work with every intention of updating you all on the Going's On of the Johnson's but I just haven't had the time or energy. So I expect this to be a novel, maybe I'll break it up in separate posts so you can scan through which parts you want to read and which you don't. I'm always thinking of you...even though growing up all I ever heard from my mother is how selfish I was, how I never thought of others. It's sad when you're own mother feels that way about their child. I think it's because she never and still doesn't know the real me. She saw/sees what she wants to see. But enough about my mother.

Kaycee's Walk To Remember, unfortunately for us, it was a BUST.
A. We forgot the damn camera.
B. We were 30 minutes late because the 101 Freeway was closed and I didn't research the detour well enough.
So I feel horrible even complaining but it wasn't organized very well. When we got there, I saw a bunch of people wearing the same Hawaiian shirts so I asked them where we register or sign in at and the guy says, "You missed it, it's over. The only thing going on right now is the car show". WTH? So Jory and I decide to walk in and ask someone else, we walk up to this booth that to me looks like an Information booth, apparently we were wrong. I told them I had registered us both for the Walk to Remember. The lady replied, "What?" I explain, online you could paid $18 for the Walk to Remember $20 for the 5k Run or $20 for the 5k Walk, regardless you got a tshirt. She said that she didn't know what I was talking about, but there was a registration booth out where the walk started and pointed us in that direction. We walked over and found no booth, so we decided to do the walk on our own, who knows maybe we would find the booth. We walked and no booth. At this point we were pretty disappointed in the whole thing. There were tons of families with kids but I wasn't recognizing anyone, which would be hard to do anyway since I've only seen their pictures on MySpace and the MISS website so we walked to the car, had a smoke and discussed what we should do. I really felt out of place, like I didn't belong to the club. We decided to leave.

I forgot to mention the shirts I made Jory and I to wear to the event. I was up all night making them, they looked pretty good. I'll post a picture so you can see.

Next, Our TTC Journey. We just finished our 7th month of Clomid/Femara and Pregnyl/HCG treatments and if we don't get pregnant this month then we have to stop for 3 to 6 months for Endometriosis treatments. Which will be medication, surgery or both. My blood test is Monday so we'll be finding out either next Tuesday or Wednesday if I'm pregnant. I'm guessing since we found 3 new Serous Cystadenomas at my last appointment, he'll want to do surgery and meds because that way we can kill two birds with one stone. It sucks to have to take a break from TTC because we already don't know how much longer it will be before the cysts change to Cystadenocarcinoma, ovarian cancer. And from what I've read, if the medication he chooses is Lupron, it can take anywhere from 3 to 6 months after you stop the medication to get a period. So really it could be 6 months to a year before we can TTC again.

It's scary. So many people have told me we should just adopt, which we will if we have to. But they don't understand what it's like to NOT have the ability to get pregnant and give birth to your own child, it's a completely different experience. It's not even just that. Once they take my ovaries, I will be forced into early menopause. The physical effects of menopause are rough enough for a woman of age, but for me in my 30's it's tragic! To lose your sex drive alone is something that would freak anyone out. I'm not and don't think I'll ever be prepared when that day comes for me.

Sara's Getting Married! I had been waiting for the day that Sara would meet her One and Only since she brought Jory and I together. We met her fiance Carl at my brother's wedding. He's super kool and funny. He and Jory got along great, which is always the ideal situation. Then they tell us they are getting married in Miami, FL. WTF? Florida? Apparently his family lives there. After we got home Jory was supposed to ask his boss if he could take some time off so we could to the wedding. We didn't find out until today that WE ARE GOOD TO GO! I'm so excited. I've only been to Florida once, back in 2003. We're hoping to talk our friends Todd and Darby into driving to Miami to see us that weekend. WOA! I just map-quested directions and it's a 9 hour drive! I doubt they want to do that, but maybe they can find cheap flights? That would suck to go all the way to Florida and not see them, Miami is much closer then Arizona. We'll see. We leave Wednesday Dec. 5th and come home Sunday the 9th. Maybe I forgot to mention, I'm a bridesmaid! I've never been a bridesmaid before. I can't wait for December to get here! Finally something to look forward to!

The Angelversary Project hasn't been completed yet. I need to go buy some pink and blue ribbon to tie around some of the Bear's necks because they look so generic without something. I thought about trying to find some tear shaped crystals or something that looks like it to glue under one of the eyes. I saw a teddy-bear online that came like that...they were $35 each otherwise I would just buy them. Then I need to separate the good ones from the not so appropriate ones and I'll take the others to the children's ward.

I haven't forgotten A Little Piece Of Jack. Now that it's been a year, well even at 6 months I already felt like it was too late. But we already spent all the money so I will probably send them out with a note or I don't know...this is why it hasn't been done yet! ARGH...maybe I'll mix it with October 15th, which is my next topic. Actually I'll be doing a separate post for Oct. 15.

I leave it at that for now....so I can go work on the Oct. 15th post and getting some pictures online.

Peace Out!

Kaycee's Walk To Remember

Tomorrow we're going to Kaycee's Walk To Remember. It's an event to raise money for SIDS research and to honor our children who have died. There's a professionally timed 5k run/walk, the actual half mile Walk to Remember, Custom Car and Street Rod Show, Guest Speakers, Silent Auction, SIDS Memorial and Food. Plus lots of Infant and Child Death Prevention and Safety information.

Beautiful little Kaycee died at 3 months of age due to SIDS. I "met" her parents on the MISS Foundation website and keep in contact via MySpace. It's people like them that inspire me with their strength.

I wanted to have Tshirts made for us to wear to honor Jack, but the date totally snuck up on me! On my lunch today I went to Joanne's and picked up some shirts and iron-on transfer stuff, we'll see if I can put something together tonight.

Going to this may not be a big deal to most, but for me, it's like "Coming out of the grief closet". I'm very verbal about being a mother of an angel online but publicly I always trip over my words when someone asks me questions. I even rehearse in my head what someone might ask and what I would say but when it all comes out it's horribly garbled and they can tell I'm not wanting to talk about it, EVEN though I am! I want to talk about Jack. I don't want anyone to forget about him. But wanting to and doing so are two very different things. Because I don't talk about him out loud very often, I almost always start to cry or get that lump in my throat. Most of the local people I know online from the support boards will probably be there tomorrow. We may have people recognize us, or if we wear the shirts, recognize Jack's name. Which means people might talk to us and I'll be forced to talk back, it's scary for me, this new me, I've become.

Time to go home, I'll write more later.

Joey and Jory, The Beginning.

I figured after 10 years together I would have already posted our "How did we meet" story, however I never have. It's a long story or should I say I make it a long story because that's the way I tell stories, all the important details included.

In August 1997, my very good friend Sara had been chatting with her friend Jessie online and over the course of conversation she mentioned that she needed to find her Long Hair Hippie Man of her dreams. Jessie said she had a coworker, Jory who was really kool and she thought he fit the description. Jessie then told Jory about Sara and they began chatting online. A few days later Sara mentioned to Jory that she was taking the bus to Canada and was looking for a ride to the bus station in Pocatello, ID (2 hours north of Logan, UT where Sara and I lived. 3.5 hours north of Salt Lake where Jory lived). Jory told her he enjoyed long drives and was willing to give her a ride. Since this is was an unusually nice offer, I insisted I go with for her safety.

August 16, 1997, Sara called and told me her and Jory were on their way to pick me up. I asked her if he was hot and she said he was so I immediately ran and put on my "Guy gettin' tank top". Next thing I know I'm coming out to the living room and Sara and Jory meet me under the arch separating the living and dinning room in my mom's house. I see him, I know instantly that I will marry him. I should also mention I had a boyfriend at the time.

We take off for PocaFellow, Jory's driving, Sara is sitting next to him, I'm chillin' in the back. We talk about music as I rifle through his CD collection, it was like looking at my own collection. We stopped at some po-dunk gas station and I take every opportunity to catch his eye, I see him looking at my boobs. I wonder how obvious I'm being, Sara has to see there's this connection between he and I. All I'm thinking about is, how am I going to explain this to Nate. I believe cheating starts when you picture yourself with someone else. I couldn't stop picturing Jory and I together. I needed to end things with Nate. I could tell Sara liked him, he was here for her, not me. I didn't want to be THAT friend, it had almost happened 4 times before with her and I. But I couldn't deny what was inevitable.

After what seemed like days, we finally arrived at the bus station. It felt as though we were old friends. We all got along so well. We took pictures, she hugged me and told me "Hands Off". I agreed, even though I knew ultimately it was out of my hands. You can't change what is meant to be.

On our way home, we talked non stop. Every time Jory lit up a cigarette it smelled funny, not pot funny. I asked him twice if he was smoking Sara's herbal cigarettes and the 2nd time he took a good look and realized he was. We laughed hard. He said he thought something was different. I teased him because How Could You NOT Know, herbal cigarettes are like smoking Air, you don't feel anything in your lungs, there's no satisfaction.

He invited me to a party at his friend Kade's house that night. I WANTED to go more then anything in the world, but I was already on my last leg at work, if I was late one more time I would be fired. I should have gone, I think I quit shortly after that anyway or was I fired? I forget now.

We paused in the car as we said goodbye, I wanted to kiss him but knew I couldn't. I wondered if he felt the same. I already missed him.

The next day at work I told my coworkers all about him, how I knew I was going to marry him, how Sara was going to kill me because this would be the 4th guy she introduced me to that she liked and they liked me a little too much. (it's funny I just counted and realized it was 4, I've always thought he was the 3rd, I forgot about the one in Orem that one night, oh poor Sara and her vomit breath. I won't say anymore.

I called Nate and told him I needed to talk to him. I explained that I had met someone and just knew he was the one. I assured him I hadn't done anything yet. But he knew my feelings about cheating. My heart had already betrayed him. He was really kool about it. He thought I was a little crazy since Jory and I hadn't made any steps to see each other again. I could be alone in my feelings. I told him it didn't matter, I was going to pursue Jory so it had to be over with us. He told me he loved me and wished me the best of luck in life. It was the first time one of my relationships ended on a good note. If we saw each other in the future, it wouldn't be awkward, we would be like old friends. (As a side note, about 3 or 4 years later, Jory and the boys ran into Nate Frisbee Golfing. All Jory could say was he looked chubby. LOL he wasn't chubby when we were together, but that wouldn't have mattered anyway.)

That night I chatted with Jory, flirting hard core. I had never chased a guy before, always let them come to me. (That's not true, I did go after one, John E. only because I wanted to prove a point to his girlfriend that she wasn't as kool as she thought she was. Unfortunately it was all too easy and after a few months of going out, he wanted a little more then I was willing to give him and I just wasn't that into him. I avoided him for a couple weeks, not wanting to hurt him, he got the hint and found someone else.)
BACK to my hard core flirting with Jory. He told me he was going to some music thing downtown with his friend Tom and Tom's girlfriend. Some guy playing the guitar or something. I told him I should come down, but if I did I couldn't promise to keep my hands off him...or something like that. woo woo, I know dirrrty! He ended up not going and I ended up not making it to SLC, I had no car and couldn't talk anyone into driving me.

A few days later, Juli had to go to SLC, something about a plane ticket (this was 10 years ago, my memory isn't perfect) so after we took care of her ticket, we called Jory's house (this was before everyone and their dog had a cell phone) and Rod answered, his roommate. He said Jory was still at the baseball game (weird, he wasn't the type I figured went to baseball games) but he'd be home soon, we should just come over. Wanting to see Jory so badly, we decided to go hang with Rod until he got home.

As we walked in, Tom looked at me and said, "You must be Joey".
Excitedly, I said yes.
You look exactly as Jory had described.
"So he's been talking about me eh?" I responded.
Tom laughed and said YEAH.
Thinking this must mean he likes me, I giggled to myself.

We sat down and chatted for a bit, it didn't feel as awkward as I had expected. Rod and Tom were pretty kool and they made us feel very comfortable for being total strangers. I do remember Tom telling me something about how Jory hadn't "seen" a girl for 3 years and how I must be "Something Special" to have interested him.

It wasn't too long before Jory showed up, drunk as a skunk I might add. A few too many beers at the game. I think we ended up renting a movie that night? A Clockwork Orange if I remember correctly. It's definitely not the same movie sober.

A few days or a week later, I talked Eric into going to SLC. We surprised Jory by just showing up at the house. Probably not the best idea, but it worked out. I didn't want to freak him out so I told him we were in SLC to see our other friends but thought we'd stop by but Eric blew my ridiculously stupid cover. I was embarrassed because I wanted to see him, but didn't want him to think I was a stalker. I still didn't know if he even liked me! Eric and Rod hit it off immediately. After that Eric was always up for going to SLC, he'd actually drive from Ogden to Logan to pick me up then we'd head back to SLC.

The 2nd weekend after we'd met, Sara came home. I didn't dare tell her Jory and I had hung out while she was gone or that I was interested in him. I think I told her that we had talked, because she had me call him to see if he wanted to join us in Ogden at the drive in movies. I think she said, since you've talked to him on the phone, you should call and invite him.
We met that night at the drive in, Men In Black and Excess Baggage were playing. Sara spent the night trying to sit between Jory and I and at some point we sort of turned it into a game and started wrestling. I'm sure Jory was amused or annoyed?

The next night, Jory came up to Logan to my apartment. I don't remember who was all there, Eric and Juli, maybe Jenni? We were all sitting in my living room, having a great time. I had no furniture, just a twin mattress on the floor. I was sitting on my bed, Jory was on the banana chair in front of me. I figured I would make my move, as slyly as can be in front of all my friends. I moved my foot over to his chair and as I had HOPED for, he reached down and caressed my leg. I know how lame that sounds, but it was the sign I had been looking for! He did like me! That night he stayed over, refusing to sleep on the bed next to me, fearing I might molest him ;) For whatever reason, half awake, I opened my eyes and noticed he was looking back at me. Now fully awake, I asked him what he was doing, it was obviously still very early in the morning. He said he liked to watch me sleep. I begged him to get on the bed where it was obviously more comfortable then the floor, he finally agreed. Shortly after, we had our first kiss and it lasted 48 hours! Oh yeah baby! We made out like bandits for two days, taking short breaks to go outside and smoke in the alley (*at my drive thru drug window). At some point during the 2nd day, Jory told me he didn't want to scare me but he wanted me to know he loved me, which was crazy because I had been thinking the exact same thing! That day, Jory and I officially became "an item" and decided we wanted to grow old together. That day was Sept. 8th 1997.

*I'll save the Drive Thru drug window story for another post. Also, I'll tell you all about the day Sara confronted me about Jory and my broken promise. But so you can sleep at night while waiting...Sara forgave me after a week, we are still bestfriends. She actually ended up Marrying us! And every year on Sept. 8th, I call and thank her for introducing me to my soulmate.

10 Years!

Happy 10th Anniversary!

Ten years ago today we took this picture.

I'm going to spend time with my hunny now, I'll write more later.

Happy Birthday Jack!

Jack Kendrick Johnson

August 31, 2006 - September 1, 2006

My Little Man Jack,

I can't believe it's been a year since you were born and passed away. It doesn't seem like it's been that long. I don't cry everyday anymore. It sneaks up on me in the shower a lot and I completely lose it when I see your 2nd cousin who was born 2 weeks after your due date. I couldn't imagine a day without bawling before so I guess I am dealing better even though I miss you just as much if not more. With this new schedule I'm thinking more seriously about finding a support group because I have a tendency to sail down "De-Nial" river because depression can take over my life. I pretty much stopped working on my grief seven months ago because I was scared I would lose control and end up in a loony bin. I couldn't read my online support boards anymore because all the ladies I had met after losing you were all getting pregnant. It's not fair that they are so fertile and can get pregnant so easily. You may be the only child I ever conceive and give birth to. ARGH this isn't supposed to be about me!

Your dad and I have made it a habit to purchase every elephant we see at a store. I can't imagine how our house would look if Butterflies or Dragonflies were your "symbol". Although there are times when Dragonflies come up and seem to linger around me more then usual and I think of you. It always sparks one of our little conversations. After reading The Lovely Bones, I imagine you right there with me when I talk to you. Of course it seems you're everywhere, like the deer and the lady bug at the cemetery. You're a part of everything in nature to me.

We finally got to see your star in the Big Dipper this past weekend! We've always just looked for the Big Dipper as a whole to talk to you in the sky. But in Moab you can see all the tiny stars that are apart of it, and there was yours, practically holding hands with the 2nd star in the handle! It seemed to twinkle when I'd talk to you, I know all stars twinkle but yours was twinkling at just the right times.

We had planned on spreading some of your ashes on Our Rock in Moab, but it never felt like the right moment. I was also uncertain whether I wanted to let some of your ashes go at all. One moment I was 90% sure I wanted to, five minutes later I was questioning it. Your dad and I decided that we will know when it's the right time and the right place.

I found the most perfect little birthday cake for you and for the same reason above, we still haven't cut the cake. It traveled well in our cooler and still looks perfect. I imagined your first birthday when I was pregnant with you and cutting the cake without you in a highchair prepared to attack the cake with your face seems unbearable. I've thought about freezing it and maybe trying again next year but I don't know.

Your grandpa and grandma P went to the Angel in Salt Lake and left you some flowers. I think your dad and I will go to the one here this weekend. Everyone in the family was thinking about you and missing you more then ever this weekend. Keara gave us the cutest little crocheted elephant (picture above), it's so cute and I hadn't planned on leaving it in my car but it's like a little piece of you that makes me smile when I get in. Makes me smile...did you notice? Oh how I must be growing. We also purchased a tiny Utah Centennial plate with your name on it, since the Centennial plate has Delicate Arch on it, it seemed appropriate. Also being in Utah during your first Birthday and Angelversary, it is something to remind us of this special trip.

I tried to talk your dad into getting tattoos with me, but he didn't like the look of the tattoo shop in Moab, so I'll have to settle for one here in Phoenix. I think we might be making this Moab trip an annual event. Had we stayed home for your special days, we might not have gotten out of bed. Instead we kept ourselves busy, showing Arches to Keara for the first time and being with friends that mean so much to us! It was the most mentally healthy thing we could have done. Hopefully next year we'll get to spend it with more family and friends. I think it was good that only Robby, Regina & boyz and Keara came this time though, it was a little more intimate for the First Year.

Well little man, that's all for now. Go play with your friends Cayman, Jeremiah, Zane, Peter and Theo in the stars. Feel free to visit me in my dreams, I'd love to hold you one more time, even if it is just a dream!

Miss you Always, Love you Forever!

Love Mama

Mobile Blogging!

Now I'll be able to blog on the go. When we get to Moab and find a camping spot, I'll blog the location for those of you who are going to suprise us with your presence. he he

I'm Officially That Person.

I won't go into details just now, but I wanted to let you know the wedding went beautifully. Haiden is the cutest baby boy on the planet. I changed his dirty diaper 3 times and would do it again in a second! I wish we lived closer so I could smother him with love on a daily basis.

Jory had fun entertaining the girls: Sprout, Smiley and munchkin. Hopefully I'll get some pictures posted before next year.

As I expected my cousin with the baby boy same age as Jack would have been, was there. I broke down and bawled mid reception and had to escape from the tables to not make a scene. I thought I fled fairly inconspicuously but after the 5th or 6th hug of support I realized I must have caused a spectacle. Unfortunately my drama caused my cousin to take her baby home early. I don't know what to do, it's not fair that the sight of him causes me to break down. It's not my cousin's fault, it's not her baby's fault. I honestly don't know how I will ever "handle" seeing him. He will always be what Jack could have been.

Anyway...I said no details.

We're leaving for Moab tomorrow after work, we'll be staying in Tuba City, AZ for the night and arriving Friday afternoon. Sandflats is not expecting to fill up so hopefully we'll find a spot if not our regular site in Cluster F.

I promise to post more after we return on Labor Day.

Peace Out!

Utahrd Bound

We leave for Utah tonight. Hopefully we'll see some friends while we're there. We probably won't check emails that often or at all, so call us if you want to see us!

Peace Out!

What Happened to Encouraging Creativity?

"Chandler school officials have suspended a 13-year-old boy for sketching a picture that resembled a gun, saying it posed a threat to classmates. But parents of the Payne Junior High School student said the drawing was a harmless doodle of a fake laser, and school officials overreacted.

``I just can't believe that there wasn't another way to resolve this,'' said Paula Mosteller, the boy's mother. ``He's so upset. The school made him feel like he committed a crime. They are doing more damage than good.''

The Mostellers said the drawing did not show blood, bullets, injuries, or target any human. They said it was just a drawing that resembled a gun. But Payne Junior High administrators thought the sketch was enough of a threat and gave the boy a five-day suspension, later reduced to three days. Chandler district spokesman Terry Locke said the sketch was ``absolutely considered a threat,'' and threatening words or pictures are punishable.

The school did not contact police and did not provide counseling or an evaluate the boy to determine if he intended the drawing as a threat. School officials issued the suspension Monday afternoon. They notified the student's father, Ben Mosteller. He met with school officials and persuaded them to shorten his son's suspension from 5 days to 3.

Ben Mosteller said that when he came to the school to discuss his son's punishment, school officials mentioned the seriousness of the issue and talked about the massacre at Colorado's Columbine High School - the site where two teenagers shot and killed 12 students and injured 24 others in 1999. The Mostellers said the Columbine reference was extreme and offensive. They have contacted the district's governing board about the incident involving their son."

I think school officials have taken their 'power' way too far! Had this rule been in place when I was in school, 90% of the students would've been suspended! I used to draw when I'd get bored, which was most of the time and some of them included my teachers being hurt or humiliated in some fashion not just a gun if you can call his drawing that. But I never actually harmed or humiliated any of my teachers. That's not true, I got into it once with one of my teachers in high school and instead of allowing her to demean me in front of the class, I stood up for myself and told her off. She ended up crying and I was sent to the Principal's office.

I'm sorry but I must also mention that it scares me that they say a 13 year old drew that so-called gun, because it looks like a 6 year old was drawing his house or an airplane. And what gun has little stick figure people climbing all over it? What happened to encouraging creativity?

While driving home last night I heard another story about power monger administrators. Chandler's Basha High School had changed their tardy rule. If your child is one minute late, one time they have to to go to 4 hour Saturday school (like the Breakfast Club). ONE MINUTE, ONE TIME! I wonder if this means that every time you are late, you get a Saturday or if your late Monday, you may as well be late all week because you've already earned a Saturday? Apparently last year the rule was on your 4th tardy you earned a 4 hour Saturday. When asked why it was changed, they said "it didn't work." So instead of coming up with alternatives they put on their power hungry hats and decide to go insane!

And these are the people teaching our children. Jory and I have always talked about how we would home-school our kids. This is another reason why we will be doing that!

Let me try this again.

As I was saying we've been busy getting ready for our Pootah trip for Christopher's wedding with a quick turn-a-round the next weekend back into Utahrd for our fall Moab trip to which we only have 1 maybe with tentative hotel reservations so we might be camping alone. We gave plenty of notice so I wonder if I scared everyone off because I mentioned we were going for Jack's birthday and angelversary. I can promise tears will be shed but I swear I will do my best to hide when it happens because I'm not much of a public cryer. Since we didn't receive any confirmations we didn't reserve a spot and will probably end up where the wind takes us. Give us a call if you decide to wander down and we'll let you know where we are.

For those of you who want to see us while we're in Northern Utah, your best bet is probably going to be at my parents house in Smithfield (7 minutes north of Logan or 1 hr 15 minutes north of SLC) Saturday night Aug. 25th, 7 pm or later. My brother doesn't believe in "receptions" so they are having a PARTY aka Kegger after the wedding (which is being held in my parents huge backyard) and he has officially invited any of our friends that are willing to make the drive. Don't worry it's totally casual and by casual I mean shorts and tshirts...I might throw on a Hawaiian shirt with my shorts for the wedding, but I will probably change into a tshirt as soon as the "I do's" are said. I know it's a drive, but it's closer then then 11 hour drive to Arizona which none of you have made ;) Not that I would expect any of you to come to Phoenix to see us, we moved, therefore we travel to see you all. Just saying. If any of you are interested, email or call me and I'll give you directions.

I've been going crazy trying to unpack and still feel like I'm months from being finished. I KNOW we've been in the house for almost 3 months now! Our garage is still packed with boxes and furniture, I just don't think we're going to make it all fit. Going from our house in Utah with 3 bed/2 bath(potential 5 bed/3 bath) with the unfinished basement with loads of storage room to our new 3 bed 2 bath with no basement is a huge challenge. We don't have the closet space I'm used to so I don't know where to store anything, which is why I haven't unpacked a lot of it. I think a few trips to the goodwill are in order.

I've also been working on our fence project. As with most AZ homes, we have a block wall fence and state code requires so many bottom blocks have holes for flooding. These holes are big enough for Mazzy and Jimi to escape through so we had to come up with an idea to fill the holes but not completely so water can still escape. We came up with folding hard plastic mesh into a box configuration and gluing them in with liquid nails. There are around 100 holes and I've cut less then half of the mesh boxes out. I've only got like 6 holes filled so far and have already finished off a tube of glue. This is a more timely process then I ever imagined. The supplies are so cheap, it feels wasteful to hire someone to fill them as many people do here. I took some pictures the other day so I'll post some soon so you can see what I'm talking about.

Since this is so long already...I'll go on.

Jimi has turned into the Destroyer of all things! She recently started eating everything in sight. She's chewed through 99% of all their toys, both Jory and my underwear and now she's moved onto eating our shorts and pants. I don't think this was bothering Jory as much as me until Jimi ate a giant hole in Jory's favorite pajama pants. It was pretty funny and I'm sure he won't mind me sharing the story with you.

Normally when Jory and I get off work, we immediately change into comfy clothes, tshirt and pajama pants for Jory. The other day we were out having our usual cigarette right as I came home from work and in mid sentence Jory reaches back to his bum area and says "What the Fuck?" he turns so I can see this giant hole where his boxers are peeking out. And by giant I mean the pj's no longer have any ASS at all! I have no idea how he didn't notice this until now, when were out in our front yard for all to see. Luckily we do live at the end of the cul-de-sac and as far as we know our neighbor across the street was not at home.

So back to Jimi the Destroyer, she ate through her favorite orange stuff bone, the one I'm sure I've mentioned before because she would go hours running around frantically with this orange bone in her mouth trying to find a safe place to put it. It didn't matter if she didn't want to play with it right that minute, if you even glanced at it she would grab it and and try to find a place to hide it. I actually have cell phone video of her and Kai (her half sister - my boss' dog) fighting over this very bone. I'll try and get that posted too. So I went to the store to find a replacement orange bone because you could hear her heart breaking when we took her best friend away. I looked at every single toy in Petsmart and found no orange bone, no any colored bone. However I did find these new indestructible toy bones that had a picture of an army dude and his army dog with big teeth so that made me think there was no way Jimi could chew through it. I also got her the new small Bobo Loofa toy (you know the one that looks like a wiener dog from the commercials where it's the real weiner dog's favorite toy and when it got ruined the owner took the dog to Petsmart and the cashier scanned it while it was in the dog's mouth) because I figured it was the same size as the orange bone.

While waiting my turn in line Jory called me or maybe I called him, doesn't matter and I told him I was going to buy a doggy swimming pool, it was only $7.99 and he told me I wasn't going to buy it and that was that. Sometimes I like to let Jory win, because well, he loses so often. he he
Yes our dogs are spoiled and once the fence is done I will buy them the pool.

Anyway back to the toys, so I get home and hand Jimi her new bestfriend and she sniffs it, she knows it's not the same but she doesn't seem to care and takes it to the floor and starts eating it. Five minutes later the Bobo the wiener dog was missing two legs and both eyes. We take Bobo away and I show Jory these new can't be eaten bones and Jory was like, ya right....he was totally right, the next morning we found Jimi had finally eaten a hole in it. I'm not sure what's going on with her. I'm trying to think like the Dog whisperer, so I assume she needs daily walks, but it's like 110 degrees outside so I don't normally walk them in the summer. They're lucky if they get to walk down the street to the mailbox after work and that was really only during monsoon season when it was 80-90 degrees. I'm still adjusting to this morning shift so I'm not willing to get up an extra hour early to walk them when it's still in the low 80's. She's too old for teething so, do you have any idea why little Jimi girl has gone crazy on us?
I know Jory is going to say it's because I had her privates taken out....he's always telling her it was me that took her privates away because he thinks that will make her love me less and love him more. She loves anyone who will rub her belly!

I'll end it here...I have some work to do and only 15 minutes to do it in LOL!

Remember...email or call me if you want directions to my parents house.

Peace out!