Not Getting My Hopes Up

I don't want to even write about this but I have to because that's how I process. I swear I'm not getting my hopes up, especially since Jory and I haven't really discussed this as an option. We recently found out that my cousin is pregnant and she's thinking of giving her baby up for adoption. You have goose bumps don't you?

My uncle sat down with her and asked her what she thought about possibly letting Jory and I adopt her baby. I was told she was nervous about us being family, we might be too close and she might run into us and the baby too often. But I think he told her that with us living in Arizona, it's not really close at all and with it being family, if she ever felt comfortable, she would know where to find us and could be involved one day or at least have the luxury of having the option to see pictures, read about and know how the baby is doing as s/he grows up. Honestly I can't even remember the last time I saw my cousin. I think it's been at least 4 years, maybe longer? I definitely think she's safe from running into us.

I would imagine for my uncle and aunt, this would be ideal, they could still be the baby's "grandparents". How lucky this kid would be, having three sets of grandparents! I grew up with three sets, it's normal for any kid with divorced parents.

All I know is she's around five months pregnant, and probably due in May. She didn't give him any idea what she was thinking, or at least what I was told, but had asked for my phone number.
Now do you have goose bumps? ;) What will I be doing for the next 4 months? Staring at my phone ;)

But let's get serious here, Jory and I will be talking tonight and through the weekend I'm sure. I know he's worried about getting our hopes up and then having everything fall through. Or even just getting a little excited that this is even a possibility because maybe she isn't thinking of us at all and just asked for my number to get her dad off her back? That's possible.

Of course we'll worry that if she does pick us, that she might change her mind at the last minute. What adoptive parent doesn't worried about that? It's hard to even think about all that yet since we don't even know if she's even 100% decided on putting the baby up for adoption. So many questions, so much to think about and it could all lead to nothing. But hope is all I have and at least that's something. I'm truly thankful for that hope...it's been awhile since I've felt any.